Last week I wrote about how, when it gets tough blending both work and family, we need to connect with the reasons why we are working.
The reasons for working are different and personal and ideally, values-based, but it can help to also know that you are doing a good thing for you, your partner and your kids and that you don’t have to sacrifice work to have children, or sacrifice having children to have a satisfying career.
To revisit, a helpful principle to follow for a satisfying career and home life is 50:50. 50:50 running the household, 50:50 parents, 50:50 when it comes to careers. 50:50 is really about a core belief that satisfying work lives and loving bonds with our children are equally important to men and women and that we have the potential to be equally skilled in those roles.
So let me share more research on why it’s a good idea to work and to work towards 50:50 between you and your partner at home and work, and how this benefits your relationship and your partner?
Being the sole income earner can be stressful. Two incomes provides a safety net. There is likely no negative impact to your partner’s career and they are more likely to ‘spread their wings’ if they have the buffer of a second income.
If we want to be treated equally in the world, we have to take our pay-check as seriously as our partners do theirs.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before… the happier women are with the division of household duties the more sex a couple has. You are less likely to see your partner as a slacker, partners who snuggle their kids are more appealing, and women feel better about themselves.
Research also shows that the more hours a woman works the more sex she has. Dual career couples may be more fatigued but it is a small factor in who gets sex. Feeling fair and fulfilled is sexy.
Parenting is good for your partner. It improves their self-esteem, sense of efficacy and emotional range.
In choosing 50:50 not only is there greater peace of mind with two incomes but your partner gets a better shot at a satisfying career, a true partner in marriage and a chance at being the parent they want to be.
Question: What values do you connect with to get through those tough times?