The Great ‘Nice Girl’ Hoax

I was sitting around an outdoor firepit on a still night with two of my favourite women this weekend and we were talking.

We talked about how being duped when we were young into thinking that we had equal opportunities to our brothers and could do whatever we wanted to do, created a sense of entitlement. We talked about how not getting what we were expecting as an adult has resulted in resentment and anger. This disillusionment can be deep and lasting.

We talked about how over the last two years we have all left our day jobs and started our own businesses because we were wanted to be valued, earn what we’re worth, and have greater flexibility, autonomy, and freedom.

We talked about Avivah Wittenberg-Cox’s article detailing how talented women, forced by their husband’s inflexible and traditional attitudes to downgrade their aspirations, bide their time. After their children leave, often so do the wives.

We talked about how we might be duped again into thinking that being a ‘nice girl’, a ‘good wife’, a ‘good mother’, a ‘nice woman’, will reap rewards for us one day. We don’t think so. We talked about ways to avoid ‘drinking the Kool-Aid’.

So, we poured a second gin and thought about how we can “opt out”, go off script, and live now, not wait for later. There is comfort and belonging, and sadness, in knowing that this is a conversation that has been had between rebel women for generations.

So, let’s do it now, say it now, start it now, drop it now, stop it now, try it now, push it now, be it now. If we wait the gap and the pain will just get bigger and bigger. Harness the anger and take action now.

Drop a heart below if you can relate.


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